Sleeping in for Inappropriate Amounts of Time

With the exception of Christian, who has to get up every morning at 5 a.m. to start washing his fro, members of the Dewolfepack enjoy their sleep. But that sleep often continues far, far beyond the normal limits of human endurance. Sleeping in till noon? That's for amateurs.

Whether due to alcohol consumption, frantic late night essay-writing, marathon late-night masturbation sessions or general laziness, sleep often lasts past lunchtime in their abodes.

In the Cambridge winters, that often means that members of the Dewolfepack only experience two to three hours of sunlight a day, rendering them pale and vampiric for months on end.

The master of this art is, undeniably, Monticello. Although others might push themselves to hit the snooze button for an hour or two, this man has the unique ability to completely reset his sleep rhythm, become fully nocturnal, and sleep till 2 p.m. He can be seen almost any afternoon, sprawled across his bed like a beached whale, a gorgeous behemoth slowly drying in the sun.

Although these sleep schedules are socially unacceptable and often cause them to miss important life events (class, meals, basic hygiene routines, social interaction of any kind), the members of the Dewolfepack like sleep too much to ever change their ways. Until we get jobs, maybe.